When Will It End ?

i seriously hate the people i live with sometimes...every fucking thing has to be turned into an agrument, ! i have never lived with someone that is on bitch mode 24/7 >_<

A Fun Night

Well i just got home from my aunts house and i had a great time like always...and last night was the best cause i got to see "he who cant be named" and we sat on the porch for a wile just talking and having a good time ,we haven't been able to do that in so long and it was really nice. We talked about things stupid like the names of our kids with out anyone judging us,our old story's,and the cute things that we share that only we know about..like how he loves to play with my hair and how i only like to have my hand on the bottom when we hold hands. we talked about more serious things too, like the issues with his family and how he really feels about the new baby. and we started to talk about my dad and it felt really good to just have some one hold me and just let me cry and let it out... we talked about if we want or can have another relationship again..witch we thought it was best to go ahead and finalize it so yes we are dating again!! we laughed for hours and for once with all the things going on with my dad and my mom i have felt so sad and that night really made me feel better just talking to someone who has been there before and dealt with the things that i am now.. i just wish my mom would understand and trust me  to just leave us alone and not be stuck right under us because its so awkward having her sitting under us like were 4 years old..i mean at least let us have some space like go for a walk or just in the back yard ? i really hope i can gain some trust or something because i would like to have a life outside my house, i mean that past is the past and i will not be told i cant do something if all i have shown is improvement and they say well "oh you did this before so dah dah dah" its stupid and unfair.

A Hollow Victory

Well tonight went just how i wanted it too ,and it was great i had the best time ever ..and "he who cant be named" spent it with me just like i wanted we kissed under the fireworks and everything ...but now i should feel amazing but i dont,i really think i could be falling for him and im scared :/

Fireworks :)

today is going to be the best! not only is it like my fave holiday ..but i also get to see "he who cant be named" its been a wile and its going to be perfect :) im not saying its a (date) but its deff the first step of being a couple agin <3 ..well it might be the first date :/ i really have no clue lol ,but wish me lots of luck and ill let you know how this shit turns out ! or if its going to be a big fucking blow up :c ?

Staying Awake

well "he who cant be named" has a new baby brother and has to stay at the er all night with his mom so that means ill be up all night too trying to save himfrom boardom ...its 2:53 now,and btw the time is fucked up when i post ..so it probaly wont say the US time...but anyway i guess its time to break out the monster energy drinks and wate for good news lol c: ...and then be a bitch tomorrow because i got woken up , or just sleep all day lol

More Good News

so the 4th of july is comming and i get to spend it with "he who cant be named" and im so excited i havent seen him in forever and we have just resently started talking agin. so it may not seem like it but this is really good news! i finaly get to do what has been on my bucket list for like ever !cuddle with my guy under the fire works :) im so excited i could buy a gun ...lmao its just an exprestion btw

Best Thing Tonight

well me and my siblings are all sitting in the living room and its around 2:00 in the am,and im texting "he who cant be named" and i say i miss his voice...not 20 mins later i hear outside a guy screaming I LOVE YOU EMILY METZ ..and he txted me back and said i fixed that problem for a little wile . best thing ever!! going to sleep with a smile :D

The Confuseing World Of Parents !

so today without fail has been another boring day...with out the sun :/ idk when im going to take all of the test so i can get my perment.my mom dosent want to pay for it witch kinda pisses me off.i know all the materal and she couldent care less... but oh no when my brother wants his perment shes all open ears and putting in the pin to her visa card. i would do my best to pay her back,shes the one who wont let me drive without my perment and now i cant even get it wtf ? can someone explain this too me ?

In Need Of Sunshine

its been raining for the past 3 days and all i want to do is tan!! ugh sun please come back i miss you :/

vroom vroom

finnished my drivers ed study book..or answerd all the questions in the book,so now i just need to memorise them....going to be a long day -___-

holy shit my best friend is 4 weeks prego! totaly unexpected but okay lol

so yeah aside from almost passing out in church because of low blood sugar...i got to talk to "he who cant be named" and spent the day with my aunt so it was okay i guess... but now im going to have to go get blood work done to make sure i dont have anything wrong with me... YAY ! i get to have strangers with gloves and mask poke me with needles and steal my blood... fucking vampiers ;)

well i finaly woke up put my bathing suit on and found out that its raining ...i was kinda looking forward to sun taning but its whatever . and everthing is going good with me and" he who cant be named " like i said only time will tell

so its like 3 am and i cant sleep ..thinking about him

11:11 wish for the night ... I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA !! all my emotions are running together and i feel scared,sick,confused and just upset :(

okay so now that were talking and its all going well...i still feel like something is going to fuck up :\ guess i will just have to wait and see

im so seriously fucked ! the guy i love and i cant have him ...time to break out the icecream

so now i have a problem...i have resently started talking to an ex boyfriend of mine we had a bad turn out and things ended pretty bad with us .but now i miss him i have no idea what to do but i like him alot but i know that i cant just look over what happend with us. ugh ...this is ether going to end bad in the begining or blow up after a month or so. wish me luck !

well now my blond hair is dark brown and it looks AMAZING !! and i guess im going to hang out with my sister Jordan today "jazzy" and were going to break open the idea of getting a hotel room in Daytona for a few nights YAY !! really excited :D

The truth will set you free, but it will make you miserable first - willfread quotes

so the days winding down and i guess the family and i are going to a friends for hotwings!!! c: yummie

Wow with everything that happens in this house a reality show wouldn't be able to keep up

DRAMA. DRAMA. DRAMA !!!  

so yeah i just talked to the ex bofriend/ friend and his farther died ... my sister and i just talked to him :/ wow this kinda sucks ... but ill be there for him,he acts okay but i know him and im surprised hes even out of bed. im sorry bro ...RIP dad </3

well im still grounded .. like i have been for all summer but it hasent been that bad i guess we went to Georgia "yay" -__-.. .Only today my ex boyfriend /friend needs to talk and he seams really upset.i wish i could try and help him out but my "dad" wont let me see anyone BIG SURPRISE !! but school will be back soon and i get my phone back sometime near the end of July...and then my normal routine and normal friends and weekend activity's will follow i guess. Well other than the smoking of weed and cigs, i think that is pretty much over...tbh idk if i care if its over or not as long as i don't get caught but i guess its all for the best.After all this i think im really tired of getting in trouble because being here in this house more than a week straight with out going anywhere is enough to put me in a coma...and im to the point where i rather have the coma.
_wish me luck <3